Clients often come to therapy because they are struggling with difficult issues and need support to navigate their experiences and emotions. However, starting therapy or meeting a new therapist for the first time can feel daunting. It can be hard to know where to start or how to find the words to describe how they are feeling. This struggle is common and can lead to anxious questions like, “What should I say to my therapist?” or “How do I make my therapist understand me?”.
These feelings are entirely normal. In fact, they are a crucial part of the therapeutic process, especially in psychodynamic therapy. Unlike other forms of therapy that may focus on specific goals or structured dialogues, psychodynamic therapy invites you to explore your mind freely, without the need to censor or plan your words.
Speaking the Unspeakable: Letting your Unconscious take you where you need to go
One of the foundational concepts in psychodynamic therapy is Freud’s concept of “free association”. This involves speaking freely about whatever comes to mind, without worrying about whether it makes sense or seems relevant.
You might have an idea of what you want to talk about, but during the session, you could find yourself saying something entirely different. This unpredictability is not only expected but welcomed. It is a way of allowing your unconscious mind to guide the session, revealing deeper thoughts and feelings that you may not even be aware of.
For instance, you might start a session intending to talk about a stressful event at work, but suddenly you find yourself recounting a vivid dream about an orange cat that inexplicably turned blue. While this might seem odd or irrelevant at first, in the context of psychodynamic therapy, it might be an important and meaningful occurrence. The images, thoughts, and memories that surface in this way are often connected to deeper unconscious materials—our defences, fears, desires, and unresolved conflicts.
Sometimes, the things that seem pointless, illogical, or shameful are the most significant topics to discuss in therapy. You may feel a strong resistance to saying certain things out loud, but these could sometimes be the very things that need to be explored. In your unconscious, these thoughts and feelings are connected to important aspects of your psyche, and the way they emerge in therapy is rich with meaning.
A skilled therapist understands the value of these seemingly nonsensical or uncomfortable revelations. They will listen without judgment, helping you to explore and make sense of these thoughts and emotions. The therapist may not say much, but they are carefully attuned to both your words and the emotions beneath them, working with you to uncover the deeper meanings.
The Relational Aspect: Unconscious Communications
One of the most powerful elements of therapy is the relationship between you and your therapist. This relationship is not just about the words spoken; it also involves unconscious communications that occur between you and your therapist. These subtle, often unspoken interactions can evoke emotions, memories, and thoughts that are deeply significant.
For example, you might find yourself feeling a certain way around your therapist—perhaps anxious, angry, or overly compliant. These feelings may provide valuable clues about your internal world. Similarly, the therapist might remind you of someone from your past, triggering thoughts and emotions that you hadn’t realised were still affecting you.
These relational dynamics are not to be underestimated. In fact, they are a central part of therapy. The therapist is trained to notice and work with these unconscious communications, helping you to explore what they might mean. This process can uncover deep-seated patterns in your relationships with others and with yourself.
The Therapeutic Process: Unfolding
For me as your therapist, therapy is a process of unfolding. My role is to provide a space that fosters psychological safety and trust. What emerges during a session may not be logical, appropriate, coherent or socially acceptable, but that is precisely the point. The therapeutic space is unique - it is a place where you can be yourself in that moment, exploring thoughts and feelings that are often unspoken or even hidden from yourself.
Through this process, psychodynamic therapy offers the opportunity for profound self-discovery and healing. It is not only about what is being said but also about allowing your unconscious mind and the therapeutic relationship to guide you toward deeper understanding and, ultimately, greater freedom.
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